short funny nigerian jokes

Therefore I See TOP jokes about Facebook from collection of jokes rated by visitors. Nigerian Money Joke. 2. Akpos was taking a walk in the wild places. If they’re with knives press 1, pistols press 2, AK47 press 3, machine guns press 4, bombs press 5, all of the above press 6… Akpos checked and saw that the armed robbers were with all of them, so he pressed 6… then a voice came up saying…. Pregnant Maid 2. Three criminals are in the court for getting their punishment. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. [10 mrks] Female students were writing, Pizza, fried rice, Hamburger, ice cream, sharwama and all sorts of Chinese cuisine….. HOUSE HELP: Madam welcome. How much does he owe you? Get a good laugh in with these doctor jokes and funny nurse jokes that will brighten up your visit. Nothing seems to get to us. April Fool’s Day. Nigerian Christian Joke. Wife: “Go back to where you`ve come from”. A professor drove into a petrol station in his sleek state of the art range rover sports to buy fuel. Funny One-Liner Jokes. Husband shouts behind a locked door: ”Let me in!” Wife: “Go back to... 3. Wife goes out from a house wearing nothing but bra and pants. immediately, the female students started cancelling and changing the foods to, beans, cocoyam, & abacha, bolee and porridge yam, indomine, white rice with no soup!! Teacher: Stop! The judge says: I will give it corresponding to the number of things you have stolen. Just provide the evidence he actually took that money. No vex abeg. Now all eyes are on you. You should always be on top of the latest and funniest jokes! See more ideas about jokes, african memes, african jokes. Akpos And The Yahoo Boy. An online entertainment enterprise that deliver comedy and jokes of different categories, pidgin English phrases, laughable wise funny quotes, African and Nigerian funny wise sayings and proverbs, cool short funny … Let’s tickle you once more with these funny set of jokes and riddle that you have never heard before. Sanka. Akpos asks a lawyer for advice: Akpos: Mister Black, please help me. I only speak English. Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Madam came back to meet the house help sleeping and snoring: MADAM: Will you get up now! You can also find other types of comedy on the internet! He is very upset! The teacher asked what the past form of the word “think” was. Continue reading our post to find really funny Nigerian jokes! It is your problem. Being a Christian, he decided to pray and ask God to save him. I currently feel a profound desire to replenish the propelling of my motorized automobile. Akpos comes home and tells his father: I have got the highest points at school today! Very funny Nigerian jokes: Top 10 1. Aug 5, 2020 - Explore Josephine 's board "Nigerian jokes " on Pinterest. 7. Student: OK. British : Salon American : Barbershop Nigerian: Barbing salon. Short & Funny Jokes - Jokes Etc - Nairaland. What do you call a sleepwalking nun…. What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? The situation repeats on the next day! UCHE: Ahn ahn! That’s my problem! Our daughter is pregnant! Everyone laid flat on the ground. What do prisoners use to call each other? The man returns to the mosque with a machete dripping with blood. However, these collection of jokes are not just funny but are the funniest set of jokes you can ever come across. You have probably heard that the most famous jokes in Nigeria are Akpos ones. What we have here have substantiated that jokes can be short and still be funny. Professor: Ok! Why have I stolen a bag of rice?”, Husband shouts behind a locked door: ”Let me in!”. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. The whole mosque responds,”halleluyaaaah!!!”. Fuel Attendant: Oga na play I dey play o, how much fuel you wan? [50 marks] Huh!! 1. Lawyer: That’s no problem. Instructions says: Canceling answers not allowed) Akpors the Lecturer: Questi on 1: What’s your favorite food? Short Jokes provides a large variety of the best of short jokes with subtle witty humour in short one liners jokes, SMS jokes, text jokes and hilarious funny jokes.. Stupid girl! Akpos: But I have no evidence. Baby, I missed my period – Baby, I am pregnant; Baba you don fresh oo – My guy, it’s been a while. Always updated with the latest Nigerian funny jokes and laughs. Mother to child: If you like don’t stay at home – If dem born you well, don’t stay at home! Naija Short Jokes You Can't Read Without laughing Struggling For Food At Naija Party Joke That moment you are struggling for food at a Naija wedding and mistakenly disconnected the speaker wire with your leg. He asked them to write the answers as he read out the questions. “Everybody down!” Akpos shouted. Legit.ng hopes that you can now grasp at least a little piece of Naija comedy! This funny Nigerian joke was written by a man on one of the Nigerian forums: “Our politicians go to the US when they need to work, to Dubai when they need to buy something, to Paris if they want to rest, to Europe if they want to study! You can find a lot of interesting genres in Nigeria! Cell phones! Na just now now we finish he say make I lie down small. 1. The bricklayer surprised , replied : No I am a stammerer like you!!!! The London Nigerian - Community News and Events for Nigerians in UK It`s the funniest joke played by the famous Akpos! – They are sure it is yours! Naija jokes follow the ideas of the world humor! The thorough inspection again shows that the boy carries nothing but rice! Lawyer: No problem. Always put 'am' after an "I". “There was a robbery at Akpos’ neighbour’s house and he called 199. A young, scared man stood up and said, “Here I am.” Akpos: Open the safe and bring out all d money. Wife tells husband: “Some of your friends think that I`m beautiful!" If you don’t have a good internet visit keepvid.com, copy the youtube url and download it for a better viewing experience. Judith ....more. Therefore, let's take a look at the theory of really funny Nigerian jokes! Funny Nigerian jokes. Some of them are more Nigerian-focused than others! They only get back to Nigeria when they want to die! No one replied. In Naija pidgin you will see, Pidgin quotes, proverbs, jokes, slangs, greetings, insults, wishes, phrases and the rest of them which you can use to spice up your day. "Dam" Go here for autocorrect fail pictures!!! cordially request you to transfer from your subterranean reservoir a sufficient quantity of the combustible fluid of the highest octane rating to fill the appropriate receptacle of the said means of perambulation to the brim. The same situation emerges the next day! Here are Funny Nigerian Pidgin Phrases that you should know; Short Funny Jokes- Hilarious Short Jokes. My neighbour won’t give my money back, and I really need them. The first man received just a year for a can of sardine. The father was very happy and spent all his money to celebrate it. MOMMY: No fuel. Please read, share and enjoy. FUNNY and COOL jokes. Fuel Attendant: Sir, I don’t speak pidgin. After the young man had slaughtered the goat, he tells the man that he doesn’t know how to skin it and that the man would have to go back to the mosque and get someone else to help him on that. But these comedy types are the most popular in Nigeria! A boy crosses border on a bicycle. All these African jokes ain’t funny when you are a lover of Africa, how are there still Africans alive? Just provide the evidence he actually took that money. Still, the overall trends are the same! I could not remember it, so I spent much time on it. “Hmmmm…! Why is it that you seem puzzled? A customs officer stops and inspects him! Hilarious and funny jokes for Facebook status and messages which is too funny and able to make anyone lough out louder at the blink of an eye.. UCHE: Why? A newly married Nigerian couple brought a female house help from the village to assist in keeping their home tidy, so they would have time for their careers and other more important things. Genie's lamp. He uses the light of his mobile device to look for his device (which he`s holding as a light). Akpos appeared to be the least lucky, as he took a bag of rice…. What The Heck Is Government? Funny Naija Gist. Husband:” Let me in, or I`ll kill myself!”, Husband:” Tell me, Darling, where have you come from wearing nothing but pants and bra?”. The man then grabs the nearby young man and goes out with him and tells him, “son come help me slaughter my goat for I don’t know how to do it”. MANAGER: (stammering) No, I can’t sir. Take a look at the Top 10 Nigerian Jokes! Husband says: “It`s Jack, right?” She replies: “How do you know?” He replies: “Leftovers are his thing!”, READ ALSO: How to woo a lady and make her become yours. You will just realise that you have bellefull under 3 seconds. Nigerian Jokes, Nigerian Jokes, Religious Jokes The Aboki On day while traveling from Aba to Port Harcourt in a mini bus, a big 911 trailer overtook us in high speed. I am nervous. Three Thieves A judge decides which kind of punishment each thief is about to receive! Of course, Nigerian jokes are not limited by these above-mentioned types. Akpos: Yes, mum. UCHE: Mommy, can I go to Chidera’s house? Funniest Jokes New Jokes Hilarious Jokes Clean Jokes Funny Sayings Black Humor One-Liners Funny Riddles Dad Jokes Best Puns Fun Facts ... Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 New Shower Thoughts Being an actual wealthy Nigerian with legitimate overseas interests must suck. Was there anything wrong with your paper today? Next thing he heard was: Welcome to Nigeria Police Emergency Center, for English press 1, for Igbo press 2, for Yoruba press 3, for Hausa press 4, Akpos pressed 1, and another voice came u.. For car accident press 1, for armed robbery press 2, for Boko Haram please hang up…. Akpos asks a lawyer for advice: Akpos: Mister Black, please help me. Just provide the evidence he actually took that money. The one-liner jokes will surely crack you up – you are bound to laugh as hard as you have never done before. British: Bend American: corner Nigerian: Bending corner British: so, American: Therefore Nigerian: So therefore,(its a banger) British: tell me the reason America: tell me why Nigeria: … Wife returns to the house and finds out that the door is closed. Nov 5, 2015 - Explore Love Atunnise's board "Nigerian Quotes" on Pinterest. I thought and thought, and decided that the right answer was “thinked.”. Just imagine, a man comes home from his work. He moulded a big heart (to represent love) with the assistance of the house help, a project which took almost the whole day. Click here https://youtu.be/FGVE3qTCcG8 for the full movieThis very FUNNY comedy video will get you laughing really hard. Enjoy these funny Nigerian jokes and puns. So, the funniest jokes in Nigeria are as follows: 1. “Where is the bank manager?” He asked. The second one got 30 years for taking a tray of eggs. Kids Jokes And Riddles. He pressed 2, and another voice came up…. How much does he owe you? Lecturer Akpors: Question 2: How do you prepare the food? My neighbour won’t give my money back, and I really need them. His mother asks him: Mother. Then he decides to call the police to inform them that his phone has been stolen. Funny Nigerian Jokes is another part of Nigerian culture! Enjoy a collection of our jokes and some funny riddles added to it, that is what we are poised to do, giving you lots of funny jokes that will cause you to laugh away your sorrows and brighten your day. Lawyer: No problem. American: Short Nigerian: Short knicker. Oya Enter o! After thorough inspection, the officer finds nothing but rice and releases the boy. Hilarious and funny jokes for Facebook status and messages which is too funny and able to make anyone lough out louder at the blink of an eye.. Good morning. The house help is now on admission at the Lagos Hospital. One day, a man who is a chronic stammerer, was looking for a particular street in lagos and could not find it so he decided to walk up to a brick layer and ask him for directions and he started asking: Peee peee please ay ay ay ay am loo oo loooo loooking for iiiiikorodu ro ro road. Leave your email to receive our newsletter, Get the hottest stories from the largest news site in Nigeria, Drop your mail and be the first to get fresh news, Breaking: Rapid shooting as bandits open fire on convoy of Kaduna emir, Man returns to Nigeria sick and with nothing after 29 years in South Africa, new photos causes stir, Photos of well-furnished house with modern facilities that sells for N1.7m go viral, Talented Nigerian man converts containers into stylish offices, houses, his photos go viral, BBNaija star Ozo gives fans a grand tour of his tastefully furnished apartment, it is breathtaking, President Buhari's appointee, Chidi Izuwah, declared dead, Burna Boy's family members party hard as his sister Ronami Ogulu clocks new age, 11 Nigerian celebrities who have been spotted with Ooni of Ife Oba Adeyeye Ogunwusi, Footballer effortlessly dribbles his opponent in street soccer, video stirs reactions as many hail him, Celebrating 5 Nobel Laureates to have emerged from Africa, Wife: ”Your problem is our problem! Short but funny jokes! A boy comes to his father after school! He answers a phone call and says: ”Sorry, I can't speak, I`ve lost my mobile”. When the Imam saw this, he immediately shouts “Praise the Looooooooord! I will not tell anybody!”, Judge: “You will get as many years in prison for as many items you`ve stolen.”. Akpos; What?! But when they came home the dad saw the real marks of his son. The funniest jokes about Facebook only!. Akpos Jokes App is a mobile app developed by StackArena in Lagos, Nigeria. Let's take a look at the top 10 Naija jokes you will never forget! You are lucky I’m with a toy gun, I would have blown your brains off!… Akpos is currently receiving treatment at the prison hospital. Julius is a renowned Nigerian comedian and professional compère. We also have South African jokes and other ones so check out our other funny jokes categories as well. Nene ....more. Browse through the best and largest compilation of funny Nigerian jokes such as Akpos Jokes, Relationship Jokes, School Jokes, Church Jokes, Political Jokes, Marriage Jokes. Giraffe smoking marijuana. Lawyer: That’s no problem. Only on Legit.ng! This very FUNNY comedy video will get laughing really hard. Therefore, humour should be an essential part of your life! The bricklayer replied to the stammerer: Jus jus just fofo fo follow the the nes nes 2 2 streeet and and turn right thats ikorodu ikorodu road! Tell me what has happened!”, Husband: “Then, congratulations, we will become parents!”, Boy: “I have got the highest mark in my class today!”, Dad: “What did you mean that you got the highest mark in class?”, Policeman: “Father, ask the one who is in charge of Abel`s murder case!”, Customs officer: “Just tell me, what are you smuggling? After a short but passionate prayer, he opened his eyes only to notice a … Lawyer: Then just text him and ask him to pay you your $2000 back. Funniest Jokes New Jokes Hilarious Jokes Clean Jokes Funny Sayings Black Humor One-Liners Funny Riddles Dad Jokes Best Puns Fun Facts Kids Jokes More Awesome Jokes Our Most Popular Categories: Jokes Top 100 He owns the Real Laugh Entertainment, an event management firm along with choice properties in several states. Nigerians are some of the funniest people on planet earth. Akpos came from school looking confused. She tries to “save” her husband in the lake! One of the top Nigerian jokes about Akpos and a lawyer. Akpos: $600. It's another example of social satire in Nigerian jokes. Vivian ....more. My friend, if your brother is a policeman, will you let him go?”, A man entered a mosque carrying a brand new smooth machette and asked “Who is a muslim here?” The whole mosque went as silent as a grave yard. There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley, one was assaulted. Hi guys ready for more jokes?? Akpos asks a lawyer for advice: Akpos: Mister Black, please help me. MOMMY: If you get missing, is it not a car we are going to use to find you? 40 best dad jokes that will make you laugh. Akpos: But I have no evidence. Never put 'is' after an "I". Now, that you know some theory – it`s time to get straight to business! A judge decides which kind of punishment each thief is about to receive! Title: Short Funny Jokes 1 Short Funny Jokes 2. Professor: Guy abeg, give me full tank. Lawyer: That’s no problem. These 30 Short Funny Naija Jokes Will Spice Up Your Moment: I believe that these thirty (30) short funny Naija jokes will make your moment blissful. Lawyer: That’s what he will answer, and you will get evidence. Ekene ....more. Naija … Are you crazy?! Akpos went to rob a city bank. What does it supposed to mean?! Lawyer: No problem. The stammerer got angry and gave the bricklayer a hot slap shouting are are u joking joking with me? What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? Just imagine, a guy sits in the darkness and says that he has lost his phone! Have fun watching these Naijagists.com picked top 10 best Nigerian Comedy Videos of All times.. Husband goes to a lake and throws a stone into the lake. My neighbour won't give my money back, and I really need them. So, is it a cemetery?”, Hilarious, inspirational, and powerful Robin Williams quotes, It's a typical example of social satire! It is their problem! These 30 Short Funny Naija Jokes Will Spice Up Your Moment. Julius is popular for getting at his audience to create funny jokes. It's a simple joke which you can tell your parents! This is a collection of the best funny Naija jokes and funny Nigerian jokes. Midnight Trip A man comes home late at night. See more ideas about nigerian quotes, african memes, african jokes. Even one joke a day can make your life easier! First Thief: “I`ve stolen a can of sardines I get one year of prison”; Second Thief: “I`ve stolen a tray of eggs, I get 30 years!”; Third Thief: “Why? Akpos: Bu he only owes me $600. Suddenly, a bush moved, and he saw a lion running toward him. Below are some common Nigerian statements and their actual meaning. The man asked again, “How can a full mosque have no muslim?”. One day, Oga decided to give his wife a surprise package. Neighbors are talking! I’m using my legs. Akpos: But I have no evidence. A policeman is praying at a church, and a priest comes to him! What have you been doing since morning? Sweetheart, I’m not happy – Sweetheart, I need money. MOMMY: No! Akpos the lecturer in Gwagalada, University of Abuja decided to give his students a test. Y’all are racist and may God forgive you… You know we rich with natural resources that’s why y’all come to steal from us… Shame on you ALL A … That’s her problem. Judge: “You will get as many... 4. Me and Oga dey make love since morning. A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds Wife Wanted. Dec 17, 2011 – Top 10 Best Nigerian Comedy Videos Of All Times Looking for some real laughter attacks, the Nigerian comedy videos below will sure get you one. Husband sneakily returns to the house and locks the door. I picked these jokes on wattpad. You will find that every type of humor is presented in Nigerian culture! The house call is here! 1. Pregnant Maid.

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